Last Updated 17/05/2013
Good Comebacks that are cool to know. Make sure you are always ready with a funny clever witty comeback!
There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.
Insult: You're jealous!
Comeback: Yes, I'm jealous of people who don't know you.
You asked for my number and I said 1-800 kiss my ass
Insult: You're gay!
You: You wish.
Last time I heard that I was laughing so hard, I fell off my dinosaur
Bully: Turn around and sit your ass down.
Victim: No you do it. Bully: i already am.
Victim: No your ass (point to their face) is right there.
You're as fake as a three dollar bill!
I'm sorry, I don't talk to animals
If I'm ugly, we must be twins.
You talk so much shit, I'm starting to smell it on your breath.
You are not the worst person in the world, but until one worse comes along, you'll do.
Life is but a game, and let me tell you, you suck at it.
You're the cum your mother should have swallowed.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.
If you've got a problem take it up with my ass, because that's the only one that gives a crap!
You hear that? That's the sound of your balls not dropping.
Hey, that was quite a mouthful, but I guess you're used to that sort of thing.
Insult: Suck my dick!
Response: Sorry, I don't suck small things.
What goes around, comes around but I hope it hits you twice as fucking hard!
Is that your head or did your neck throw-up?
Your dick belongs in your pants, not in your personality.
You're so low, you have to climb up a ladder to reach the bottom.
You must be the arithmetic man -- you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.
His teeth are brighter than he is.
I have heard snappier comebacks from a bowl of rice crispies!
Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?
I'm fat because everytime I did your mom, she gave me a cookie.
You might as well wear a tampon on your head because if you're gonna act like a pussy you might as well look like one too.
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.
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