Ginger Jokes

  • Driving conditions were awful today in downtown London, and a Ginger was run over in the late afternoon!

    Citizens spent several hours pushing him into oncoming traffic before someone finally got the sucker!

  • Why did the Ginger’s boyfriend keep crawling back to her?

    She kept stealing his wheelchair.

  • A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Ginger die in a plane crash and go up to Heaven’s gates together.

    When they get there they are stopped by St. Peter, who says: “Sorry, it’s crowded up here, you need to answer a question correctly, or else you can’t get in.”

    He looks at the Blonde, and asks her: “What was the name of the famous ocean-liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?”

    “Oh, that’s easy,” the Blonde replies, “the Titanic.”

    St. Peter lets her into Heaven.

    Next he turns to the Brunette, “How many people died on that ship?” he asks.

    “Oooh, that’s tough, but I saw the movie, and I think it was about 1,500.”

    St. Peter says, “That’s close enough,” and the Brunette walks into Heaven.

    Finally, St. Peter turns to the Ginger and says: “Name them.”

  • What do you call a Ginger getting an abortion?

    A crime stopper.

  • Two gingers drove off a cliff in a Vauxhall Zafira.

    The police called it “a terrible tragedy”, as the car could have seated 7.

  • What do you throw a Ginger drowning in quicksand?

    His wife and kids.

  • What would a ginger feel while fatally shooting her husband?

    The recoil.

  • Three teenage girls, one blonde, one brunette, and one ginger were driving along when they had a terrible accident and died. They were all sent to heaven.

    At the gates, they met St. Peter. He said to them, “Welcome to Heaven. There is only one rule here, don’t step on the ducks, don’t bother them, just leave them alone. If you do bother them in any way you will be handcuffed to the ugliest guy in Heaven for all eternity.”

    The blonde teen thought that this was rather funny and started laughing. Before she knew it there was a loud “QUACK!” She had carelessly stepped on a duck and was handcuffed to the ugliest guy in heaven.

    As fate would have it the brunette got careless and stepped on a duck the very next day. She was immediately handcuffed to the second ugliest guy in Heaven.

    The two girls sat moping at the fact that they were chained to these people for eternity.

    The next day they saw their ginger friend. She was handcuffed to the most gorgeous guy they had ever seen. She looked at them with an angry fire in her eyes and said, “He stepped on a duck.”

  • What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a ginger?

    If you had to, you could eat a bowling ball.

  • What’s the difference between a ginger and a lawyer?

    There’s some things even a lawyer won’t do to people.

  • How can you tell when a blond is satisfied in bed?

    Who cares?

    How can you tell when a ginger is satisfied?

    She unties you

  • What was the most unbelievable amazing magical power demonstrated in the Harry Potter movies?

    A ginger boy with two friends.

  • What do ginger kids have to look forward to later in life?

    Going gray.

  • What does a ginger and a refrigerator have in common?

    They’re both cold and have no soul.

  • What do you call it when a ginger’s phone rings on a Saturday night?

    A wrong number.

  • Winter time reminder:

    Paint your rocks white in case the Gingers next door have a snowball fight!

  • Two gingers are in a car. Who is driving?

    The constable.

  • What’s the difference between a ginger and a Styrofoam cup?

    Burning Styrofoam is bad for the earth.

  • What’s the difference between a ginger and a freezer?

    A freezer doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out of it.

  • What’s the difference between a ginger and a snake?

    One is an evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake.

  • What’s the difference between a ginger and roadkill?

    There are skid marks in front of the roadkill.

  • How do you save a ginger from drowning?

    Take your foot off his head.

  • You have a gun with two bullets, and you find yourself in an elevator with a deadly viper, a serial killer, and a ginger. What should you do?

    Shoot the ginger twice.

  • Why do gingers smell so bad?

    So the blind can hate them too.

  • What’s the difference between the Loch Ness monster and an attractive ginger?

    They have pictures of Nessie.

  • What did the ginger make for dinner?

    Reservations for one.

  • What’s red and white and peels?

    A ginger trying to tan.

  • How do you get a ginger to start an argument?

    Say something to them.

  • Two¬† sailors on shore leave, walking down the street. They spot a blonde. First sailor asks his friend “Have you ever slept with a blonde?”

    Second sailor replies that he has. They walk on further and see a brunette.

    ” Have you ever slept with a brunette?”

    ” Why yes, in fact I’ve slept with brunettes on many occasions”

    They walk on a little further, and see a ginger.

    ” Have you ever slept with a redhead then?”

    His companion looks at him and replies “Not a wink!”

  • Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store?

    Her smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.