18 days ago (17/11/2013)
You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable... like a coma.
God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.
I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.
When you get run over by a car, it shouldn't be listed under accidents.
I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.
THE EARTH IS FULL GO HOME.
If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
You're the best at all you do - and all you do is make people hate you.
God made coke, God made pepsi, God made me, oh so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes, God made you,... well we all make mistakes.
I'm gonna get you a condom. That way you can have protection when you go fuck yourself.
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, God made me pretty, What the hell happened to you?
When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
Sometimes, I REALLY want to slap you, but that's animal abuse.
I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?
Lets play house. You be the door and I'll slam you.
You are proof that God has a sense of humor.
Do you need those glasses to see the size of your dick?
Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...
I would have been your dad, but the guy in front of me had exact change.
If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?
I'd slap you, but shit stains.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.
I'm the type of person to laugh at mistakes so sorry if I laugh at your face.
People like you are the reason they made the morning after pill.
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