Last Updated
2 months ago (04/30/2015)

Mean Insults

You were born because your mother didn't believe in abortion; now she believes in infanticide.
I would have been your dad but your dog beat me to it.
Shut up, you failed result of an abortion.
God made coke, God made pepsi, God made me, oh so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes, God made you,... well we all make mistakes.
Can I borrow your head for my rock garden?!
Your mother's got two cunts, and you're one of them.
I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell 'bitch' and I wrote down your name.
Person: My Parents are dead...
Me: Yeah, I'd kill myself too if I had a kid like you.
How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Your mother must have had to take a double dose of laxatives to bring you into the world.
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, God made me pretty, What the hell happened to you?
We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer and here you came along. You're a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet!!
All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and square the account?
I hear you are connected to the Police Department -- by a pair of handcuffs.
Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that's the best friend you can get.
Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers and this one's for you. [Middle Finger]
At least my birth certificate isn't an apology letter from the Trojan Co.
Insult: Shut up.
Comeback: Make me
Comeback Insult: I don't make bullshit.
Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people's hair.
When I think of all the people I respect the most, you're right there, serving them drinks.
You're like a cloud; once you fuck off, it's a beautiful day.
When you get run over by a car, it shouldn't be listed under accidents.
Do you need those glasses to see the size of your dick?
I'm gonna get you a condom. That way you can have protection when you go fuck yourself.
I wish you were all here. I don't like to think there is more!
I'm not saying that I hate you, it's just when your mouth opens, I get an overwhelming urge wanting to rearrange your face with a shovel.
Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...
Life without douchebags is a life without you. Because you can account for all of them.