Ginger & Red Head
3 days ago (01/28/2015)
"When I think about you, I touch myself."
Meaning I rub my temples, because you give me a fucking headache.
If you don't want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately.
You are proof that God has a sense of humor.
Your mother was arrested for littering every time she dropped you off at school.
Get off, you malignant growth!
If you ever wonder how mistakes are made you should go ask your mother. She knows all about it, she's got you to prove.
I'm no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.
Nothing happens after you die? False. Some of us will be throwing a party.
Oh I love what you've done with your hair! How did you get it to stick out of your nostrils like that?
The world is a depressing place, but only because you are in it.
Life without douchebags is a life without you. Because you can account for all of them.
I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell 'bitch' and I wrote down your name.
You're like a cloud; once you fuck off, it's a beautiful day.
There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.
The next time you shave, could you stand a little closer to the razor?
If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb up your ego and jump to your IQ.
Person: My Parents are dead...
Me: Yeah, I'd kill myself too if I had a kid like you.
How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
At least my birth certificate isn't an apology letter from the Trojan Co.
If I had change for a buck, I could have been your dad!
I hope you have life insurance, you're gonna need it.
I'll hit you so hard your kids will be born dizzy!
Lets play house.You be the door and I'll slam you.
Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers and this one's for you. [Middle Finger]
You were born because your mother didn't believe in abortion; now she believes in infanticide.
I'd slap you, but I don't want slut on my hands.
Insult: Shut up.
Comeback: Make me
Comeback Insult: I don't make bullshit.
I don't hold your behavior against you because I realize it was caused by childhood trauma; your parents spanked you when you fell on your head and broke the cement.