Last Updated
11 months ago (10/27/2015)

Mean Insults

I heard that you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork.
How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope.
If you don't want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately.
Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.
Oh I love what you've done with your hair! How did you get it to stick out of your nostrils like that?
I would have been your dad, but the guy in front of me had exact change.
Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I'll arrange it with the undertaker.
I'll hit you so hard you'll have to unzip your pants to say hi!
Insult: Shut up.
Comeback: Make me
Comeback Insult: I don't make bullshit.
When God put teeth in your mouth, he ruined a perfectly good arsehole.
If you ever wonder how mistakes are made you should go ask your mother. She knows all about it, she's got you to prove.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers and this one's for you. [Middle Finger]
I wish you were all here. I don't like to think there is more!
You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer and here you came along.
You should donate blood. All of it!
i heard that your mom was driving in the junkyard looking for a place to dispose of you quickly
You're so pathetic, your imaginary friend hates you.
I'm not saying that I hate you, it's just when your mouth opens, I get an overwhelming urge wanting to rearrange your face with a shovel.
Life without douchebags is a life without you. Because you can account for all of them.
You make less sense than a white basketball player.
You have a lot of well-wishers. They would all like to throw you down one.
You're like a cloud; once you fuck off, it's a beautiful day.
Man alive! But I wish you weren't.
Save the planet! Kill yourself!
Someone up there must have a sense of humor because you're a joke.
God loves you. But no one else does!
Twinkle twinkle little star,
I want to hit you with my car,
Throw you off a cliff so high,
I hope you break your neck and die.
Your mum and dad hated you so much, your bath toys were an iron and a toaster.
It cost me five thousand dollars to look up your family history. A thousand to look it up and four thousand to hush it up.
God made coke, God made pepsi, God made me, oh so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes, God made you,... well we all make mistakes.