Ginger & Red Head
1 year ago (10/27/2015)
Well I'll see you in my dreams - if I eat too much.
There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.
You remind me of a toothache I once had.
Interrupt my sleep and I'll interrupt your breathing.
I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.
I would have been your dad but your dog beat me to it.
When God put teeth in your mouth, he ruined a perfectly good arsehole.
Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people's hair.
If you don't want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately.
It cost me five thousand dollars to look up your family history. A thousand to look it up and four thousand to hush it up.
You were born because your mother didn't believe in abortion; now she believes in infanticide.
I heard that you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork.
I'm very careful of how I express my opinions of you because I want to put as much vituperation in them as possible.
You always have your ear to the ground. So how's life in the gutter?
I'm gonna get you a condom. That way you can have protection when you go fuck yourself.
Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.
I failed a spelling test because they asked me how to spell 'bitch' and I wrote down your name.
If I wanted a friend like you, I'd buy a dog.
I hear you are a real humanitarian. You have kept three or four detectives working regularly.
I'd slap you, but I don't want slut on my hands.
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd probably be the one driving it.
Your mum and dad hated you so much, your bath toys were an iron and a toaster.
God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.
I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.
I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire, I'd sit down and pull out the marshmallows.
It's impossible to believe that the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
i heard that your mom was driving in the junkyard looking for a place to dispose of you quickly
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.