Comeback Insults

7 days ago
Bully: Give me your money!
Victim: I would, but I gotta pay your mom for last night.
14
17 days ago
Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out your mouth.
67
19 days ago
I'd call you a retard, but that would be insulting to retards.
-2
19 days ago
I would slap you, but I don't want to make your face look any better.
6
19 days ago
I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.
11
20 days ago
I'd like to leave you with one thought, but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!
5
23 days ago
I'd give a fuck, but I already gave it to your mother last night.
32
23 days ago
Of course I talk like an idiot, how else could you understand me?
39
23 days ago
I would love to insult you, but I'm afraid I won't do as well as nature did.
34
1 month ago
Roses are red, shit is brown, shut the fuck up, and sit the fuck down.
69
1 month ago
And what are YOU? The mascot for this country's mental retardation department?
15
2 months ago
Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology.
21
2 months ago
Person: Does this dress make me look fat?
You: No, your fat makes you look fat.
2
2 months ago
I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone does.
26
3 months ago
If you have ever been to a zoo, you obviously have not seen the animal you are...
-17
3 months ago
Person: Haven't I seen you some place before?
You: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
29
3 months ago
If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd shit on.
6
3 months ago
I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit.
26
3 months ago
No wonder you have such a shitty view of the world with how far your head is stuck up your ass.
26
3 months ago
If I wanted a bitch I would have went straight to your mom.
20