Comeback Insults

19 days ago
I hope one day, you choke on the shit you talk.
1 month ago
Bully: You're stupid!
Comeback: So was you Dad when he thought he didn't need a condom.
1 month ago
Bully: Give me your money!
Victim: I would, but I gotta pay your mom for last night.
1 month ago
Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out your mouth.
1 month ago
I'd call you a retard, but that would be insulting to retards.
1 month ago
I would slap you, but I don't want to make your face look any better.
1 month ago
I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.
1 month ago
I'd like to leave you with one thought, but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!
2 months ago
I'd give a fuck, but I already gave it to your mother last night.
2 months ago
Of course I talk like an idiot, how else could you understand me?
2 months ago
I would love to insult you, but I'm afraid I won't do as well as nature did.
3 months ago
Roses are red, shit is brown, shut the fuck up, and sit the fuck down.
3 months ago
And what are YOU? The mascot for this country's mental retardation department?
3 months ago
Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology.
4 months ago
Person: Does this dress make me look fat?
You: No, your fat makes you look fat.
4 months ago
I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone does.
4 months ago
If you have ever been to a zoo, you obviously have not seen the animal you are...
4 months ago
Person: Haven't I seen you some place before?
You: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
4 months ago
If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd shit on.
4 months ago
I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit.