Comeback Insults

1 day ago
I'd give a fuck, but I already gave it to your mother last night.
1 day ago
Of course I talk like an idiot, how else could you understand me?
2 days ago
I would love to insult you, but I'm afraid I won't do as well as nature did.
1 month ago
Roses are red, shit is brown, shut the fuck up, and sit the fuck down.
1 month ago
And what are YOU? The mascot for this country's mental retardation department?
1 month ago
Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology.
2 months ago
Person: Does this dress make me look fat?
You: No, your fat makes you look fat.
2 months ago
I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone does.
2 months ago
If you have ever been to a zoo, you obviously have not seen the animal you are...
2 months ago
Person: Haven't I seen you some place before?
You: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
2 months ago
If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd shit on.
2 months ago
I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit.
2 months ago
No wonder you have such a shitty view of the world with how far your head is stuck up your ass.
2 months ago
If I wanted a bitch I would have went straight to your mom.
3 months ago
I'm being treated like shit, so I must be dealing with an asshole
3 months ago
Wow, who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?
3 months ago
Go suck yourself off, no-one else will.
3 months ago
Insult: You're ugly!
Comeback: Sorry, I stole your face.
5 months ago
Nobody would miss you if your dad had put you in a tissue.
5 months ago
You have your head so far up your ass, you can chew your food twice.