Comeback Insults

22 days ago
Roses are red, shit is brown, shut the fuck up, and sit the fuck down.
23 days ago
And what are YOU? The mascot for this country's mental retardation department?
1 month ago
Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology.
1 month ago
Person: Does this dress make me look fat?
You: No, your fat makes you look fat.
2 months ago
I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone does.
2 months ago
If you have ever been to a zoo, you obviously have not seen the animal you are...
2 months ago
Person: Haven't I seen you some place before?
You: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
2 months ago
If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd shit on.
2 months ago
I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit.
2 months ago
No wonder you have such a shitty view of the world with how far your head is stuck up your ass.
2 months ago
If I wanted a bitch I would have went straight to your mom.
2 months ago
I'm being treated like shit, so I must be dealing with an asshole
2 months ago
Wow, who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?
3 months ago
Go suck yourself off, no-one else will.
3 months ago
Insult: You're ugly!
Comeback: Sorry, I stole your face.
5 months ago
Nobody would miss you if your dad had put you in a tissue.
5 months ago
You have your head so far up your ass, you can chew your food twice.
5 months ago
Insult: Have your balls dropped yet?
You: Yeah, in your mom's mouth!
5 months ago
Person: My Parents are dead...
Me: Yeah, I'd kill myself too if I had a kid like you.
6 months ago
My name's not dick so keep it out of your mouth.