Funny Insults

5 days ago
Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news, they found your head!
12 days ago
You're so ugly, when you walk through a haunted house, you come out with a paycheck.
18 days ago
I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure that the Earth revolves around the Sun and not you.
20 days ago
I guess those penis enlargement pills are working - you're twice the dick you were yesterday!
1 month ago
Yo momma's like a hockey player, she only showers after three periods.
1 month ago
Deja Poo: The feeling that you've heard this crap before.
2 months ago
You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are doughnut seeds.
2 months ago
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
3 months ago
Person: You are what you eat.
Comeback: Perhaps that's why you're such a dick.
4 months ago
Your house is so nasty, I tripped over a rat, and a cockroach stole my wallet.
5 months ago
Bully: You're stupid!
Comeback: So was you Dad when he thought he didn't need a condom.
5 months ago
I couldn't help but notice that "awesome" ends with "me", and "ugly" begins with "u".
5 months ago
Your face and my ass could be twins!
5 months ago
I hate you. Maybe not in the "I hope you die" kind of way, rather "I hope you develop an allergy to bacon". And ice cream.
6 months ago
Behind every fat person there's someone beautiful. No seriously, you're in the way.
6 months ago
Yo momma is like a soda machine, at a dollar a pop she pays for herself.
6 months ago
Roses are red, shit is brown, shut the fuck up, and sit the fuck down.
7 months ago
Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology.
8 months ago
You wanna know how I know you're an autobot? You have to "roll out" of everywhere you go.
8 months ago
Hey I forgot to tell you: the bakery called, they said they want their rolls back.