Top 100 Insults
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1.
4723
416Insult: You're a fail.
Comeback: So was your dad's condom. -
2.
3741
569I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
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3.
3524
448Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.
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4.
2953
486You're just mad 'cause your mom has a bigger dick than you.
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5.
2683
452You should wear a condom on your head because if you're gonna act like a dick you might as well dress like one!
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6.
2559
693Have you been shopping lately? They are selling lives at the mall - you should get one.
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7.
2290
473Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
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8.
1948
154You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
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9.
1803
168I'd slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
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10.
1909
489Shock me, say something intelligent.
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11.
1802
455I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
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12.
1502
248My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
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13.
1703
460I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
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14.
1381
145Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
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15.
1418
231Insult: YOU SUCK! Comeback: AND YOU SWALLOW!
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16.
1517
387Insult: You Failed! Comeback: Yeah, so did your mom's abortion. :)
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17.
1385
320Man, I bet you were up all night, working on that one.
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18.
1198
141Yo momma's so fat, she downloads cheats for Wii Fit.
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19.
1161
116At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn't hit me in the face.
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20.
1315
338I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
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21.
1044
74Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, but what the hell happened to you!?
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22.
1062
168You're the reason God created the middle finger.
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23.
983
122Fashion Tip 101: You only need to wear one pair of socks at a time and they belong on your feet not in your bra
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24.
1142
305If I wanted a bitch, I would have bought a DOG!!
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25.
857
32Some babies were dropped on their heads but you were clearly thrown at a wall.
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26.
1014
205Why don't you slip into something more comfortable... like a coma.
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27.
903
99Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.
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28.
921
151By the way, the zoo called, the baboons want their butts back, so you'll have to find a new face.
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29.
868
113I see you were so impressed with your first chin that you added two more.
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30.
1053
322If I would like to hear from an asshole, I'd fart!
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31.
881
151I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and SHIT a better argument than that.
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32.
782
82I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
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33.
982
293Oh, I'm with a whore too, and by the way your Mom says hi. :)
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34.
985
307Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.
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35.
770
94Yo momma's so poor, I saw her chasing the garbage truck with a shopping list.
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36.
770
98If your gonna be two faced, honey at least make one of them pretty.
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37.
983
313God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.
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38.
806
147You're so fat you get clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!
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39.
791
161Your momma's butt is so big, she got stopped at the airport for having 200 pounds of crack!
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40.
690
75I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.
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41.
746
147You're like a light switch, even a little kid can turn you on.
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42.
680
91Bacon is bacon, eggs are eggs, don't let guys between your legs, they say you're cute, they say you're fine, nine months later they say not mine.
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43.
941
358You're just mad cause your Tampon's in too far.
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44.
717
135You're so ugly, when you were born your mom said "What a treasure" and your dad said "Yea lets go bury it"!
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45.
698
147When you get run over by a car, it shouldn't be listed under accidents.
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46.
850
310What did you have for breakfast? Bitch Flakes?
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47.
684
156I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.
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48.
634
115How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
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49.
551
32Insult: FAIL!
Comeback: Nobody asked for your life story. -
50.
677
163Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
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51.
842
332I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
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52.
638
130Your momma is so fat that when she stepped on the scale it said one at a time please.
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53.
713
210THE EARTH IS FULL GO HOME.
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54.
584
91Mirrors can't talk and lucky for you they can't laugh either!
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55.
665
173If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
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56.
743
254You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
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57.
828
340If you want a good comeback go wipe it off your Mom's face.
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58.
624
137You better hide, the garbage collector is coming!
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59.
835
359Sorry, can't put small objects in my mouth or I'll choke
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60.
752
278I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
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61.
813
344I've been called worse by better.
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62.
585
118Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!
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63.
593
132They call her 'The radio station' cause she's so easy to pick up.
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64.
786
327There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.
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65.
530
103Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
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66.
549
126You're the best at all you do - and all you do is make people hate you.
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67.
499
80I would shove my foot up your ass, but you would enjoy it.
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68.
533
116God made coke, God made pepsi, God made me, oh so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes, God made you,... well we all make mistakes.
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69.
448
35Insult: You're jealous!
Comeback: Yes, I'm jealous of people who don't know you. -
70.
714
306You asked for my number and I said 1-800 kiss my ass
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71.
505
99I thought bra's are meant for boobs not tissues
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72.
539
139Insult: You're gay!
You: You wish. -
73.
490
91You're so dumb that you got hit by a parked car.
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74.
791
393Last time I heard that I was laughing so hard, I fell off my dinosaur
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75.
523
130The last time I saw a face like yours I fed it a banana.
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76.
485
93Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
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77.
593
201Bully: Turn around and sit your ass down.
Victim: No you do it. Bully: i already am.
Victim: No your ass (point to their face) is right there. -
78.
497
109I'm gonna get you a condom. That way you can have protection when you go fuck yourself.
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79.
500
120Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?
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80.
481
105Yo momma's so stupid she stared at an orange juice box because it said concentrate.
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81.
431
60You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant.
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82.
518
148You're so poor, when you asked your Mom whats for dinner she opened her legs and said crabs.
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83.
478
115You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.
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84.
568
211You're so ugly if you joined an ugly contest, they'd say "Sorry, no professionals!"
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85.
468
111How many times do I have to flush to get rid of you?
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86.
493
142Yo mammas so fat you could slap her legs and ride the waves!
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87.
484
134I fart to make you smell better.
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88.
471
125Yo mamma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn
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89.
672
334You're as fake as a three dollar bill!
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90.
471
133Is it just me, or do you have the chest of an Eleven year old boy?
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91.
464
126Sorry, I can't think of an insult stupid enough for you.
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92.
430
95You could make a fortune helping people loose weight; one look at you and they loose their appetite!
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93.
520
185I'm sorry, I don't talk to animals
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94.
447
114If I'm ugly, we must be twins.
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95.
414
82Yo mama so dumb she sold her car for gas money
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96.
491
160Your so fat, when you're hungry the elephants hide.
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97.
462
131You're so fat, you leave footprints in concrete.
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98.
443
112If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes. Then why do you wear a bra??!
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99.
372
41Bitch, please could I wipe 90% of your beauty off with a wet Kleenex.
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100.
419
92Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.