Top 100 Insults
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1.
3362
279Insult: You're a fail.
Comeback: So was your dad's condom. -
2.
2814
429I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
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3.
2608
310Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.
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4.
2144
342You're just mad 'cause your mom has a bigger dick than you.
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5.
1914
310You should wear a condom on your head because if you're gonna act like a dick you you might as well dress like one!
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6.
1926
510Have you been shopping lately? They are selling lives at the mall - you should get one.
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7.
1648
350Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
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8.
1296
95You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
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9.
1370
358Shock me, say something intelligent.
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10.
1288
342I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
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11.
1304
360I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
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12.
982
77I'd slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
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13.
1015
151My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
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14.
1035
219Man, I bet you were up all night, working on that one.
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15.
885
86Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
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16.
1054
286Insult: You Failed! Comeback: Yeah, so did your mom's abortion. :)
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17.
913
151Insult: YOU SUCK! Comeback: AND YOU SWALLOW!
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18.
957
233I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
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19.
775
85Yo momma's so fat, she downloads cheats for Wii Fit.
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20.
751
68At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn't hit me in the face.
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21.
677
74Fashion Tip 101: You only need to wear one pair of socks at a time and they belong on your feet not in your bra
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22.
684
102You're the reason God created the middle finger.
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23.
617
45Roses ae red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, but what the hell happend to you!?
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24.
677
134Why don't you slip into something more comfortable... like a coma.
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25.
753
211If I wanted a bitch, I would have bought a DOG!!
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26.
623
87By the way, the zoo called, the baboons want their butts back, so you'll have to find a new face.
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27.
732
206Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.
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28.
578
66I see you were so impressed with your first chin that you added two more.
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29.
712
211If I would like to hear from an asshole, I'd fart!
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30.
686
201Oh, I'm with a whore too, and by the way your Mom says hi. :)
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31.
663
183God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.
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32.
563
91You're so fat you get clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!
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33.
520
54I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
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34.
469
17Some babies were dropped on their heads but you were clearly thrown at a wall.
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35.
521
95Your momma's butt is so big, she got stopped at the airport for having 200 pounds of crack!
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36.
669
244You're just mad cause your Tampon's in too far.
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37.
458
42Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.
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38.
483
73You're so ugly, when you were born your mom said "What a treasure" and your dad said "Yea lets go bury it"!
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39.
481
77You're like a light switch, even a little kid can turn you on.
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40.
481
78I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and SHIT a better argument than that.
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41.
635
234I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
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42.
465
64Yo momma's so poor, I saw her chasing the garbage truck with a shopping list.
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43.
634
255Sorry, can't put small objects in my mouth or I'll choke
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44.
466
88When you get run over by a car, it shouldn't be listed under accidents.
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45.
552
180What did you have for breakfast? Bitch Flakes?
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46.
437
66How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
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47.
465
102Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
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48.
585
223If you want a good comeback go wipe it off your Mom's face.
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49.
530
177You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
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50.
580
228I've been called worse by better.
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51.
598
248There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.
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52.
547
200I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
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53.
453
110I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.
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54.
581
240You asked for my number and I said 1-800 kiss my ass
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55.
421
82Your momma is so fat that when she stepped on the scale it said one at a time please.
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56.
376
39If your gonna be two faced, honey at least make one of them pretty.
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57.
448
117If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
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58.
470
139THE EARTH IS FULL GO HOME.
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59.
404
76You better hide, the garbage collector is coming!
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60.
655
330Last time I heard that I was laughing so hard, I fell off my dinosaur
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61.
381
57Mirrors can't talk and lucky for you they can't laugh either!
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62.
399
84They call her 'The radio station' cause she's so easy to pick up.
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63.
407
93You're the best at all you do - and all you do is make people hate you.
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64.
391
79Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!
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65.
358
48Bacon is bacon, eggs are eggs, don't let guys between your legs, they say you're cute, they say you're fine, nine months later they say not mine.
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66.
382
78Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
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67.
323
35I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.
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68.
360
81The last time I saw a face like yours I fed it a banana.
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69.
407
134Bully: Turn around and sit your ass down.
Victim: No you do it. Bully: i already am.
Victim: No your ass (point to their face) is right there. -
70.
325
56I thought bra's are meant for boobs not tissues
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71.
330
67Yo momma's so stupid she stared at an orange juice box because it said concentrate.
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72.
324
62You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.
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73.
353
92You are so poor that when you asked you'r mom whats for dinner she opened her legs and said crabs.
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74.
312
53You're so dumb that you got hit by a parked car.
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75.
366
110At least ginger kids have something to look forward to in later life. Like going grey.
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76.
383
128I'm sorry, I don't talk to animals
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77.
323
68I'm gonna get you a condom. That way you can have protection when you go fuck yourself.
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78.
295
44Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
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79.
525
275You're as fake as a three dollar bill!
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80.
333
83Is it just me, or do you have the chest of an Eleven year old boy?
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81.
286
39You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant.
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82.
301
57Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.
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83.
282
39I would shove my foot up your ass, but you would enjoy it.
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84.
340
98Your so fat, when you're hungry the elephants hide.
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85.
327
85I fart to make you smell better.
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86.
384
143You're so ugly if you joined an ugly contest, they'd say "Sorry, no professionals!"
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87.
317
79Sorry, I can't think of an insult stupid enough for you.
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88.
312
75If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes. Then why do you wear a bra??!
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89.
398
162You are not the worst person in the world, but until one worse comes along, you'll do.
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90.
316
81Yo mammas so fat you could slap her legs and ride the waves!
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91.
291
58When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
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92.
312
80You're so fat, you leave footprints in concrete.
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93.
289
59You could make a fortune helping people loose weight; one look at you and they loose their appetite!
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94.
289
62Insult: You're gay!
You: You wish. -
95.
283
57Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?
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96.
301
77How many times do I have to flush to get rid of you?
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97.
320
102Your ass is so fat, your asshole is mistaken for the blackhole.
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98.
273
56You're so short you could bungee jump off a curb!
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99.
323
106Practice safe sex; go screw yourself!
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100.
284
67Life is but a game, and let me tell you, you suck at it.